A Dark Day

A day when you know better but don’t do better!

Today is one of those days when the black cloud has come so far over me,  I can no longer see the light. I can hear ‘my positive self’, in the back of my head saying ‘get up, go for a walk, eat well, you have a choice about how you feel’  but can I be bothered, NOT ON YOUR NELLY’. My get up and go, has got up and gone, along with my motivation to do anything. If the grim reaper came knocking I would be calling him to ‘beam me up scotty!!‘ Don’t call Samaritans, I am just having a bad day!

I know that eating fruit and vegetables will make me feel better but the sugar is calling and ‘ I don’t care if it sits on my hips and brings me down further’. I can hear myself telling myself to ‘go for a walk’ you will feel better. BUT NOT TODAY! I know in my head it is because I have not been feeling well the last couple of days, topped with ‘crazy days at work’ and a feeling of ‘having no time for creative me’.

I search for some magic answer on the internet. Every site I find  has 20 or 30 doing tips, all of which are things I don’t want to do. They are all written by smiley, slim yoga practicing guru’s who look like they have never eaten a bad thing in their life, let alone drink a ‘builders tea’. I am sure they have bad days too, but they don’t write about them! Yes I am being judgemental but today is that sort of day!

depressed woman

So my message to all of you, who feel like me today and want to tell all the positive lovies, with their top tips to, ‘put them where the sun don’t shine’.  ” ITS OK TO JUST SIT AT HOME AND BE MISERABLE”. Be like me, hide in the bedroom, with a book a journal and sleep a lot. ” IT TOO WILL PASS”. We all have bad days and ‘thats ok’ and tomorrow I will be back all positive but not today. No I don’t want to talk about so if you know please don’t call, I am just having a grumpy day and I don’t want to talk about how I feel!

Today I am a grumpy , mid 50’s menopausal whinge bag but tomorrow I will be back being ‘ Mrs positive knickers and back to work with a smile and gusto!

smiling sunflower
depression lifted

 

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